二年前

久しぶりなー。

I found myself with some extra time today, and I wound up looking at my old travel blog. I regret not writing a final post here to wrap up my time in Japan, but I did make some lengthy posts on Instagram and Facebook if I remember correctly.

Shrine near Biwako.

Looking over my old blog was refreshing--it was a reminder that not everything was perfect in Japan. I have a tendency to romanticize the past. On one hand, this is a good thing. Negative memories tend to get absorbed into the positive, and it leaves me with a good feeling about experiences that were, in reality, difficult. On the other hand, though, it keeps me stuck in the past. Lately I've been thinking about how my life has been one tough thing after another since coming back from Japan. While it's true that these two years have been harder than usual, it's also true that I had my share of struggles when I was in Japan. This blog reminded me of how I really felt when I was there, which was something I needed. The years I spent at Snow College were some of the happiest of my life, and Japan topped off that happiness. Being in Japan was an experience that my soul needed. I was happy, I was overwhelmed, I was stressed, and I was growing.

Neighborhood rice paddy.

I feel as though I've stagnated at my time at the U. I have to remember that not all of it was my fault--fall 2017, in particular, was one bad thing after another and I felt as though the universe was purposely trying to kill my spirit. And I think it kind of did. Luckily, over spring and summer 2018, I began to heal. I went back to my hometown for the summer and delivered pizza and it was a simple life. When I came back to school in fall 2018, I had a much better outlook on life. Unfortunately, that outlook didn't last as I began to hate my major (linguistics), but I've been able to stick with it since I love TESOL. That, and I'm so close to being done that it would be silly to give up now.

Bike rack at Otemon.

Now that I'm almost done with this semester (one more paper to write and then I'm free), I'm starting to get excited about my future again. Next semester, I'll only have to take the linguistics capstone course plus two TESOL courses (in the place of normal linguistics ones) and then I'm done. Where will I go after that? I'm not quite sure yet. I'd love to go back to Japan and teach for a few years. Maybe later on I'll get a Master's of library science, or get that Bachelor's in fine arts I've always wanted to get. There are lots of possibilities out there. Hopefully, I'll have the chance to revive this blog--write about my travels and experiences in a space where I can be genuine.

Town near Lake Biwako.